they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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