Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
