It was confusing and full of hummus
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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