I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
