i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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