You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
