Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
