I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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