Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
