just tell him i said nine months
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
