I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize