Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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