I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
