Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
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