Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
