2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
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