I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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