i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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