I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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