Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
