Have you finally orgasmed yet?
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
