what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
You ate ashes out of my bong
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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