wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
