i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
