I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
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