Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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