I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
