M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize