I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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