I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
