if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
