You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
