Just mADE A PArabola og urine
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
