uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Randomize