You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
