My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
