I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
