That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Thank you for not boning my boss.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
