I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
