She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
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I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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