Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize