Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
