I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
