So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
