It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
