It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
