ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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