I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize