some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize