Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
