i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
i believe in u and ur pee
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
