OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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