Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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