its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
