you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
