What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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