I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
