update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
