I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Randomize
