I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
it was like having sex with a tree stump
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
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