i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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