it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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